Purpose

A resignation triggers a set of decisions and conversations that most managers handle reactively. This playbook makes them proactive.

The goals when someone resigns:

1. Protect the relationship with the individual - even if they are leaving, they are an ambassador for your team, your culture, and you as a manager
2. Minimise operational disruption - knowledge transfer, handover, and coverage planning
3. Surface the real reason for leaving - not the polite version, the actual version
4. Learn from it - resignations are data about what is not working
5. Tell the team in a way that does not create panic or gossip

None of this is possible if you react emotionally, take it personally, or go straight into replacement planning mode. The first conversation sets the tone for everything that follows.

When to Use This Playbook

Use this playbook when:

• Someone on your team resigns - regardless of their level or tenure
• You are managing the notice period of someone who has already resigned
• You want to prepare for the possibility before it happens
• You are reviewing a cluster of recent departures and want to improve how you handle the next one

This is not the right tool for:

• Involuntary departures (redundancy, dismissal) - those have separate legal processes
• Managing underperformance that might lead to resignation - use the performance management playbook

Before You Start

A resignation conversation is not something you can fully prepare for in advance because you do not know when it is coming. But you can prepare your instincts.

The most important preparation is knowing your own reactions:

• If you are prone to getting defensive: prepare to ask questions rather than respond immediately
• If you are prone to panic: prepare to acknowledge calmly and ask for time
• If you are prone to counter-offering immediately: prepare to hold that until you have had time to think

The second most important preparation is knowing your team well enough that a resignation is not a complete shock. If you are doing regular 1:1s and you are genuinely surprised by every resignation, something is missing from your conversations.

The Process

Step 1 - The immediate conversation (first 24 hours)

The first conversation is the most important. Everything after it depends on how this one goes.

When someone resigns, the default manager behaviour is to do one of four things:

1. Express surprise and try to talk them out of it immediately
2. Ask "why?" in a way that puts them on the defensive
3. Go cold and treat them as already gone
4. Immediately start talking about who will take over their work

None of these are the right move.

The right move in the first conversation:

First: acknowledge without judgement.

"I appreciate you telling me directly. I want to make sure this goes well for you."

Not: "I'm shocked." Not: "We'll need to talk about your projects." Not: "Have you really thought this through?"

Second: ask one question.

"Can you tell me what's driving this for you?"

Then stop talking. Let them answer. Do not interrupt. Do not immediately offer solutions. Listen to the whole thing before you say anything else.

Third: do not counter-offer in this conversation.

Even if you are certain you want to make a counter-offer, do not do it in the first conversation. You do not have enough information yet. You do not know if a counter-offer is appropriate. You do not know what HR will support. Say:

"I want to take some time to think about what you've told me and what we can do. Can we speak again tomorrow?"

Fourth: end the conversation with dignity.

"I respect that you've made this decision. My priority is that this works out well for you and for the team. Let's talk tomorrow about what the next few weeks look like."

What you do immediately after the conversation:

• Inform your manager (not the team - yet)
• Inform HR
• Do not tell anyone else until you have a plan

Step 2 - The counter-offer question

The data on counter-offers is clear: between 50% and 80% of people who accept a counter-offer leave within 12 months anyway. The reasons they resigned do not go away because the pay went up.

That said, there are situations where a counter-offer is appropriate. The test:

If you decide to make a counter-offer:

• Get HR involved before you have the conversation
• Be specific about what you are offering and why
• Do not make promises you cannot keep ("we'll promote you in six months")
• Be honest about what is not going to change - do not over-sell staying

If you decide not to make a counter-offer:

• That is also fine. Not every resignation should be reversed.
• Focus on a good departure, not a rescue.

Step 3 - The notice period plan

Once the resignation is confirmed and the counter-offer question is settled, focus on the notice period. A good notice period protects the team and the individual.

The first week after resignation is confirmed:

• Agree the last day formally (in writing with HR)
• Identify the critical knowledge - what does only this person know?
• Identify the critical handover items - what will break if it is not handed over?
• Agree a handover plan with the individual - written, dated, with named recipients

The handover plan should include:

Set up a handover document - shared, editable, and reviewed weekly through the notice period.

What to do if the individual becomes disengaged during notice:

• Have a direct conversation: "I need the handover to be complete for the team. What do you need from me to make these last weeks work?"
• Do not guilt-trip. Do not over-rely on their goodwill. Some disengagement during notice is normal.
• Escalate to HR if handover commitments are not being met.

Step 4 - The exit interview

The exit interview is one of the most consistently wasted opportunities in people management. It is usually a form, filled in quickly, reviewed by no one, and filed somewhere.

To make it useful:

Who should conduct it. Ideally the HR Business Partner, not the direct manager. People are more honest with someone they are not trying to protect their relationship with. The manager should review the output but should not be in the room.

When to do it. In the last week of the notice period, not the first. People need distance from the resignation conversation before they are honest about the reasons.

What to ask - the questions that get real answers:

"If you were designing this role for the next person, what would you change about it?"

"What was the tipping point - the thing that moved you from thinking about leaving to actually doing it?"

"What did we get right? What would make you consider coming back in three to five years?"

"What advice would you give to your manager?"

"Is there anything you wish someone had done differently in the last six to twelve months?"

"Is there anything you want to say that you have not said yet?"

What to do with the output. The exit interview output goes to the manager and to HR. The manager should read it, sit with any difficult feedback, and discuss it with their manager or HR partner. It should not be dismissed and it should not be treated as definitive truth. It is one data point from someone who is leaving.

What not to do. Do not try to re-open the resignation conversation during the exit interview. Do not challenge the feedback. Do not ask the individual to justify what they are saying. Listen and note.

Step 5 - Telling the team

This is where managers most often make mistakes. The instinct is to wait until you have a plan before saying anything. That instinct is usually right, but the window is short.

The rule: tell the team within 48 hours of the resignation becoming confirmed. Not two weeks. Not after you have hired a replacement.

Why: news travels. If the team finds out from the individual before you tell them, you have lost control of the narrative and created a trust problem.

What to say - a framework:

"[Name] has decided to move on. Their last day will be [date]. This was their decision and I want to respect that. I am not going to pretend this is not disruptive - it is. But we have a plan for the handover and I will keep you updated on next steps for the role. If you have questions, come to me directly."

What not to say:

• Do not speculate about why they are leaving (even if you know)
• Do not speak negatively about the individual or the decision
• Do not make promises you cannot keep ("we'll replace them immediately")
• Do not minimise the impact ("it'll be fine, we'll manage")

After the announcement, expect individual team members to have reactions. Some will be worried about their own workload. Some will be worried about team stability. Some will be wondering if they should also leave. Make yourself available for 1:1s in the 48 hours after the announcement.

What to say in individual 1:1s after the announcement:

"How are you feeling about this? What questions do you have that I might be able to answer?"

Then: address the workload concern directly. What is the plan? Who is covering what? When will you know more about the replacement?

Step 6 - Learning from every resignation

Every resignation is a signal. The question is whether you read it.

After the individual has left, block 30 minutes to answer these questions honestly:

1. Was this resignation a surprise? If yes, why? What did you miss?
2. What did the exit interview tell you that you did not already know?
3. Is this a pattern? Has anyone else left for similar reasons in the last 12 months?
4. What would have needed to be different 6-12 months ago to change this outcome?
5. What are you going to do differently as a result?

Write the answers down. Share them with your manager and HR partner. This is how individual departures produce organisational learning.

Step 7 - Spotting the signs before they get there

The best time to manage a resignation is before it happens. The signals are usually there 3-6 months before someone tells you they are leaving.

None of these signals is definitive. All of them are worth exploring in a 1:1.

The question that surfaces retention risk:

"If you could change one thing about your role or your situation here, what would it be?"

Ask it. Mean it. And do something about the answer.

What Good Looks Like

A well-managed resignation:

• Leaves the individual feeling respected and supported through the departure
• Produces a complete handover that the team can actually use
• Tells the team within 48 hours in a way that is honest and calm
• Generates one concrete change to how the team or role is managed
• Ends with the door genuinely open - the individual would consider returning or referring people to join

A manager who handles resignations well:

• Does not take them personally
• Does not counter-offer reactively
• Treats the notice period as a professional commitment, not a countdown
• Extracts real learning from the exit interview
• Does not allow the team to drift into gossip or anxiety

Common Failures

The guilt trip. The manager makes the individual feel bad for leaving - directly or indirectly. "I thought you were committed to this team." "This really puts us in a difficult position." The individual leaves with a worse impression of the manager and the company. They tell people.

The counter-offer as a reflex. The manager immediately makes a counter-offer without thinking through whether it addresses the real reason for leaving. The individual accepts, the reasons remain, they leave six months later.

The immediate freeze. The manager goes cold. They stop including the individual in decisions, remove them from meetings, and treat them as already gone. The individual's last weeks are unpleasant. They leave with a negative impression. They tell people.

The delayed announcement. The manager waits two weeks to tell the team. In that time, the individual has told half the team themselves. The manager looks like they were hiding information.

The empty exit interview. HR sends a form. The individual fills it in politely. Nothing is done with it. The same issues repeat with the next departure.

The missing handover. No plan is created. The individual's knowledge walks out the door. The team spends the next six months finding gaps they did not know existed.

Over-sharing why someone left. The manager tells the team the real reason someone left in a way that is not the manager's to share. The individual finds out. Reputation damage.

Checklist

Day of resignation

• Remain calm - listen, do not respond immediately
• Ask one question: "what is driving this for you?"
• Do not counter-offer in this conversation
• End with dignity - thank them for telling you directly
• Inform your manager within the hour
• Inform HR within the day
• Do not tell the team yet

Within 24 hours

• Have the follow-up conversation with the individual
• Make the counter-offer decision (in consultation with HR and your manager)
• Begin thinking about the notice period plan
• Confirm the last day in writing with HR

Within 48 hours

• Tell the team - direct, calm, honest
• Hold 1:1s with team members who are likely to be most affected
• Begin the handover document
• Agree weekly check-ins with the individual on handover progress

During the notice period

• Weekly handover review
• Ensure access and credentials are being transferred
• Ensure documentation gaps are being filled
• Exit interview scheduled (HR-led, last week of notice)
• Team workload reviewed and redistributed as needed

Last week

• Exit interview completed
• Handover document complete and shared with recipients
• All access and credentials transferred
• Farewell organised - appropriate to the individual's preferences
• Keep the door open - end on good terms

After departure

• Read exit interview output
• Share learning with your manager and HR partner
• Answer the 5 retrospective questions in writing
• Make one change based on what you learned
• Begin replacement planning in partnership with HR

Reference: First Conversation Script

This is a guide, not a script. Use your own voice.

Opening:

"[Name], I appreciate you telling me directly. This obviously took thought on your part and I want to handle this well. Can you tell me what's been driving this?"

After they explain:

"I hear that. Thank you for being honest. I'm not going to try to talk you out of anything in this conversation - I want to think about what you've told me properly first. Can we speak again tomorrow?"

Closing:

"I want this to go well for you and for the team. My commitment to you is that I'll be straight with you about what I can and can't do, and I'll make sure the next few weeks are as good as they can be."

If they push for an immediate counter-offer discussion:

"I want to have that conversation properly. I need to speak to HR and my manager first. Can we schedule something tomorrow specifically for that?"

Reference: The Exit Interview Questions

1. What was the primary reason you decided to leave?
2. Was there a specific moment or event that moved you from thinking about leaving to deciding to leave?
3. How would you describe the culture of the team?
4. What did you wish you had known before joining?
5. What did we get right?
6. What advice would you give to your manager?
7. What would need to change for you to consider returning in the future?
8. Is there anything else you want to say that has not come up yet?